Trip, fall, stand up and laugh;

i still don’t understand, i really don’t.

how can one person. affect me so much.

and how can one person knowing how much he/she will hurt someone else, still do it? it’s emotional murder.

but after this, i know never to play with anyone’s or my own emotions. to shut off everything. i seriously don’t know what will happen in th future. will i be open to all these again?

i miss alot of old versions of people.

i miss people that i thought i know.

i miss ==

please mean it when you say that you will care and not leave.

I think th scary thing is that, not that I am angry, but I have lost th will to make an effort in doing things. I don’t care if I look really bad or if I am pissing somebody off, or my work isn’t that up to standard. I have already lost th spark in myself to push myself to be better, th me inside has already flopped on a bean bag and sleeping comfortably, th me in my mind is struggling to wake up th sleeping me, and th me in my heart is crying and crying while hurting myself. I’m a confused bunch of cells.

Singlish  = Bochap.

because when you tell someone you love them, you won’t think that you yourself is lying right? it isn’t your fault at all, to say that and not mean it after time, it isn’t your fault at all.

so scared, so tired, so .. fake.

i give a fuck, cos i care, care = fuck, get it?

so i care for you, HAHAHA.

ah whatever.

I honestly wonder who will keep all those scary letters, texts that I give :<

I am very tired;

of th whole matter, I do not want to think about it, because thinking about it doesn’t help, makes me feel more depressed and fucked up, and th worse thing is that it makes me snap at people who can choose to leave as well but chose to stay, so.. I’m basically snapping at people who totally do not deserve it. And I will get physically and emotionally tired.. *sagging my shoulders, haiz.

So.. there’s th reason why I am not writing here, Germaine and Kelvin..

I thought yall won’t want me to talk about it..? Like I should get over th matter and think about studies? I thought that was what yall wanted..?

Yes, I do think about it but I do not rant it to yguys like I did before, that’s th difference, I guess, and that’s why I shut up because if I talk about it one more time, I will get crazy, and yguys will get crazy too, then there will just be more crazy people in th world. Doesn’t solve th problem.

In short, if yall are asking ‘Are you feeling better’, th answer is a straight ‘No.’ I had other problems other than th typical BGR problem, I cry about other things as well. That’s it. If I smile and laugh, I am not faking it, but I’m not exactly on cloud nine either, as many as you are, since there’s stress and fuck going on.

I hate swearing so much. Swearing destroys people. It makes us more vulgar than we already are.

I’m out of deep thoughts, I’ll go listen to Toy Story. Enjoy reading this, Germaine.

Oh, I hope those worrying about studies, please STOP STRESSING YOURSELF.. we have to stress about work our whole lives after university.. Can yall stop having work as your life? It’s so.. ARGH.

Kay, I’m done with my piece, Germaine.